I have a wedding coming up on September.

No, not my wedding lol.

One of my best friend’s wedding. It should be a lot of fun. The wedding is taking place in Nashville, TN. Which I hav never been to. So I get a trip to a new city and I get to see one of my best homies tie the knot. Sounds great huh?

Well, almost. There is one wrinkle.

I’m fat, and I hate it. The pandemic and not training jiu jitsu had NOT been kind to me. So, we’ve established that I am in no way shape…

Every day I have to do this. Whether I know what I want to write or not.

Tonight is one of the nights I don’t know what to write. I feel like I don’t have any stories to tell. I don’t have any opinions to express. I don’t have anything to say.

So here I am not saying anything.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

I have memories of it since I was a child. I remember being scared to walk by it. It had those eyes that seemed to follow you no matter where you walked in the room. It might be one of the earliest memories I have. Dark black eyes and burning red orange fur.

Before I was born my grandfather had found a dead red fox in the corn field across the street from his house. A causality of the harsh winter. The bitter cold had preserved the fox’s body. …

I’m a bad person.

I had this big grad goal to become a freelance copywriter. I had taken some courses, read the books they say you should read, and tried my best to not suck at grammar and punctuation.

But then life got in the way. Which I know is the absolute worst excuse ever. Because if it was important to me I would have made time for it. I would have made it a priority. But I didn’t.

Now I’m back. I’ve lost some time but I’m back. …

When we’re kids they tell us to dream big, chase greatness, shoot for the stars. What they don’t tell us is that when we get to a certain level they won’t accept our dreams. They don’t tell us that when we dream to big their support is withdrawn.

Even as a thirty year old it’s funny how that works.

“Go get that new job!” your family says,

“You are amazing and can do anything.”

“We believe in you!”

All those statements are true until you tell them you want to be a millionaire, that you want to write a New…

I have heard this statement for years. I never really believed it. It seems like a crazy statement. Aren’t I my own person? Don’t I make the decisions that affect my life? How much influence does the outside world really have on me?

But recently, I have come to understand it more. The people around you have a huge impact on your mood. The negative energy is contagious. The way that they view the world is the way that you view the world. What they aspire to be is what you aspire to be.

It’s scary.

What if I don’t…

There is, and has been, a ton of talk about morning routines. Some people love them. Some people hate them.

To be honest I have been an unbeliever of morning routines for a long time. My morning routine was for many years sleeping as long as I possibly could. I was ALWAYS tired in the morning. I only wanted to sleep. it’s all I really wanted.

But lately, I have become set in a good morning routine — affirmations, meditation, breathing exercises, cold shower, good music, and manifestation techniques.

I have to say — I feel way way better. My mind is clearer. My day starts happier. It’s just better.

BUT, I still wish I could sleep in late.

People say they don’t like cats because they are assholes.

I say — that’s WHY I love them.

I had an asshole cat. He was awesome. He would push cups off of tables, jump up on the counters and eat my pizza, and just generally be a tomcat. I loved him for it. It was funny.

He use to yell at me for if I didn’t give him enough food or if I didn’t share my ice cream with him. I liked that he was independent. That he knew what he wanted. That he KNEW he deserved the world.

We all could learn something from asshole cats. Strut into the room and push that cup off of the table (figuratively). Take want you want. Cultivate a sense of pure superiority and act like you are going to get everything you want.

I guess I’m a cat guy.

Have you ever walked through a public park at 10:30pm? I never had until tonight.

I went for a walk with a good friend after dinner. It wasn’t planned, at least not by me. We walked around a park I had never been to and talked about life. Our dreams, fears, and what the meaning of life was.

It was much needed.

It also put me off my schedule a bit. So here I am doing my daily 100 push ups and writing this small entry later at night than usual.

I’m not mad. I feel more energized than I have in a while.

I am grateful.

You ever have ones of those days where it’s just bad?

Where nothing goes right.

Where you wish you could have just stayed in bed all day and hid from the world.

I had one of those days today. But, the thing was it was all in my head — and I knew it. I knew that my day wasn’t really bad. I knew that objectively things were going pretty well. There were not lots of fires. I didn’t get yelled at. It was an OK day.

But my mind CREATED the bad day. It dwelled on the things I…

Andrew Lueneburg

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